The win restored a little bit of dignity for the boys, as Cobra Kai had shit-hammered the Dawgs in week three of the EAHL summer season by a 9-5 score. In fact, that ass-tightening loss was the last one that the Dawgs have suffered this summer, as they now sport a 6-2 record. This moves them into a first place tie with their good friends Cobra Kai with two games remaining in the regular season.
Rookie Mitchell Pijanowski scored again for the Dawgs, while future "Butt Doctor to the Stars" Josh Adams also contributed with a marker. And Matt McGarvey knocked in a rebound, giving him a goal in his fourth straight contest.
Goalie Al Sterner rode a tidal wave of good fortune, along with terrific play from the Dawgs defense, to his second shutout win of the summer season. The last time Sterner had two shutouts in one season was the Spring of Never Fuckin' Happened.
Pijanowski opened the scoring in the first period, when he sprung himself open for a breakaway. He made a quick move on Cobra Kai goalie Jeff Yerks, and cozied the puck inside the post to give his team a 1-0 lead.
Around halfway through the period, "defenseman when he feels like it" Tito Pijanowski gathered the puck in unfamiliar territory- deep in his own zone. Sensing that 200 feet was way too far for a man of his age to make one of his individual "Polish Snowplow" runs, he looked up and saw a streaking Josh Adams between two Cobra Kai defenseman at center ice. He then ignored every instinct in his body, and decided to pass the puck.
In a classic case of beginner's luck, Pijanowski threaded a beauty, catching Adams dead in stride, hitting him right on the tape. Adams broke in alone, and then beat Yerks to double the Dawgs lead.
"Tito now King of Pass"...
The good guys got one more before the end of the first frame, when Matt McGarvey placed himself perfectly in front of the net, and banged home a rebound from a Shaun Hollis shot to make it 3-0. Most of the goals in McGarvey's four game streak have come via the rebound, earning him his new nickname, "The Garbage Boy".
Not quite Garbage "Man" yet
Most of the games that the Dawgs play against Cobra Kai are wide open and high scoring, so it was impossible to imagine that McGarvey's goal before the end of the first period would be the last of the evening. But that's exactly how it happened, as goalie Al Sterner experienced what would be possibly the luckiest two periods of his hockey career.
In the second period alone, Cobra Kai hit the goalpost three times with shots- all of them staying out of the net. Forward Tom DiNardo had a golden chance to score on a breakaway about midway through the frame, deking Sterner out of his cup, and leaving him a wide open goal. But Sterner dove to his right with his goal stick along the ice, and DiNardo, needing only to lift the puck six inches, hit the paddle of the stick. Sterner gratefully covered the puck, and it remained 3-0.
Then in the third, DiNardo drove into the Dawgs zone, and freed himself up for a shot from the right faceoff circle. His blast clearly beat Sterner's glove, but rocketed off the underside of the crossbar, and bounced harmlessly away. It was just that kind of night.
Sterner wasn't exactly tidy with the shots that did hit him, and he gave up some rebounds that could have been dangerous. But the Dawgs defense, including Pijanowski, Mike Abdella, Rick Zimmat, and John Giblin, cleaned up all of Sterner's messes, along with the offensive players who backchecked as well as they have in a long time. The Dawgs now have given up just five goals in their last four games.
Later, Sterner admitted that he received some special assistance that contributed to his lucky night. Because of the importance of the contest, Sterner inserted not one, but two horseshoes in his rectum before the opening faceoff.
They were silver when they went in
That strategy paid off handsomely, but still does not give him the honor as The Luckiest Son of a Bitch in Dawg Nation. That title remains with Dawgs II defenseman Nigel Richardson.
I'm telling you- he must have a crank like War Admiral
The Dawgs now encounter a very difficult challenge, when they face the Skanks tonight at 8:20. The Skanks are on a four game winning streak of their own, having added some very good players during the summer season.
In other Dawgs news:
This week Dawgs captain Marty Richardson announced that he would be leaving the accounting business, and opening up a hotel for special clientele.
Goddamn, I love Facebook...
This week Dawgs rookie Mitchell Pijanowski decided to try and grow a creepy puberty beard so that he could look more like his hero.
This week Dawgs forward Matt McGarvey gladly volunteered to help teammate Josh Adams continue his medical studies.
"Here comes Dr. Jellyfinger!"
Indications are that Dawgs forward Danny Packard might not be having relations often enough with his fiancee Amber. This week he just stood next to a pretty woman and had a spontaneous orgasm.
"And then I jizz, in my pants..."
This week Dawgs II forward Eddie Cribbs received an award from his teammates that has long been overdue.
You didn't need that plaque, Eddie. Everyone always knew.
