But it's never happened quite like this.
Down two goals with three minutes remaining, the Dawgs exploded for three scores, and then held off a furious late power play surge to snatch a remarkable 6-5 win against the team that broke their streak, the Ice Pack.
The Dawgs, now sitting at 12-3 and riding a new four game winning streak, control their own destiny in their quest to win the first regular season winter EAHL title in team history. They hold a two point lead over the Sublixators, who improbably lost Tuesday night to the Misfits, and also have played one less game than any of their nearest competition. If they can win three out of their final four games, they will clinch the top seed for the EAHL playoffs.
"Defenseman" Tito Pijanowski, who missed the Dawgs game at Pepsi Center due to a mysterious non-hockey injury, had a huge night with two goals and two assists. Matt McGarvey and Shaun Hollis, reunited after Hollis' brief trip down to the minor leagues, combined for three goals and three assists. And Captain Marty Richardson tipped in the late game winner to cap off the giant comeback.
The Dawgs opened the scoring around the middle of the first period, when Pijanowski tapped in a rebound in front of the Ice Pack net. Though still "technically" a defenseman, the position Pijanowski plays now has been changed to "freelancer".
In didn't take long for the Ice Pack to answer. Defenseman Chris Henrichsen's shot from the point glanced off of a Dawgs defender, and baffled goalie Al Sterner to level matters, and then a couple of minutes later forward Brandon Cleveland took a centering pass in the slot and beat Sterner again to give his team the lead.
Before the end of the first, Hollis stuffed in his 20th of the season past Ice Pack keeper Scott Megan to equalize again. It was easy to tell that this was not going to be a defensive struggle. There would be lots of goals before it was over.
Just a few minutes into the second, a routine shot came towards Sterner that he tried to deflect to defenseman Ben Ziff. Instead, he placed the puck, along with an engraved invitation to score a goal, right onto the stick of Ice Pack leading scorer Kyle Gramley. Gramley one-timed the gift into the net, and the bad guys had the lead again.
Sterner
Later in the second, after Ben Ziff was called for an infraction, the Dawgs were getting ready to go on the penalty kill. At that very moment, defenseman Rick Zimmat's medication wore off, and he had one of his patented Vietnam flashbacks. Thinking that the referee was "Charlie", he fired the puck right at his head. The surprised and understandably pissed off referee then sent Zimmat to the box, or "Hanoi Hilton", leaving the Dawgs to kill a five on three for two full minutes.
What Zimmat saw
During his entire time in the box, Zimmat kept saying over and over, "Zimmat, Richard. Rank: Private. Serial number: 546251. You won't break me, you Commie bastard!" It scared the living shit out of fellow prisoner of war Ziff, who spent the two minutes trying to claw his way out of the penalty box.
The Dawgs survived, but before the end of the second, the Ice Pack threatened to double their lead. After Sterner shockingly made a save on a tough shot, the puck was desperately cleared out of the Dawgs zone. It looked like it would be an icing call, and a faceoff in front of Sterner.
But instead, there was Matt McGarvey camping out in his "office", at the Ice Pack blue line, patiently waiting for the other Dawgs get done playing some defense. He gathered the loose puck, cruised in on Megan, and slotted it home for his 12th of the year to knot the game at 3-3.
McGarvey, playing that shutdown defense
The Dawgs had several chances to break the deadlock early in the third period. Dan Pham, given another opportunity to play forward because he hurts the team so badly on defense, had several breakaway chances on Megan. Every time, he gagged like he was trying to perform oral sex on Secretariat. He then went to the bench in shame, and sat for several minutes with a real stupid look on his face.
What a boner...
Then rookie Michael Heaton got his own breakaway. He also missed, but was hooked from behind by an Ice Pack defender. The referee had no choice but to award a penalty shot.
Having never taken a penalty shot as a member of the Dawgs, before the attempt he skated to the bench to seek advice from the closest teammate he could find. Unfortunately, that teammate was Matt McGarvey. Heaton didn't realize that McGarvey's last successful penalty shot was in 1990, when he was in Mites, and the opposing goalie had just crapped her Wonder Woman panties. Heaton would have been better off asking for guidance from the high school girl running the scoreboard.
Needless to say, Heaton never stood a chance. It wasn't even close, and the score was still tied at three.
The game stayed level until around seven minutes remained. Because of Zimmat's earlier antics, the referees were calling every possible foul they could against the Dawgs, and they were once again on the penalty kill. During the power play, a shot came in from the point, and was tipped on goal by Ice Pack forward Cleveland.
Sterner made the first save, but the puck bounced away from him and right back to Cleveland. Sterner could have gotten back in position to make the second save had it been 1998. But since it is indeed 2009, Cleveland easily put the puck back in while Sterner flopped around on the ice like an old, arthritic walrus.
Sterner
A couple of minutes later, Ice Pack forward David Rodgers broke away from the Dawgs defense, and skated in alone on Sterner. Sadly, Sterner still hadn't been able find the energy to stand up from the previous goal, and was beaten like a Saudi woman with an opinion. It was now 5-3, and the good guys were in big, big trouble.
The referees must have thought that the game was out of reach, because with four minutes left, they actually called the Ice Pack for a penalty, and then another. Now the Dawgs had a five-on-three advantage, and one last chance to make a game of it.
With seven seconds remaining in the first penalty, McGarvey found a loose puck and banged it home to make the score 5-4. Since the goal came during the five-on-three, the Dawgs remained on the power play.
Thirty seconds later, the Dawgs gained possession in the Ice Pack zone, and the puck was fed back to Pijanowski at the right point. He launched a wrist shot that went through several defenders, past the right skate of Megan, and into the net to tie the game.
"Tito make score. Tito do good."
There were still two minutes left, and the Dawgs, who moments earlier were staring at a costly loss, were now actually thinking about winning the game.
But they'd need a hero. Someone with great hockey skills and instincts. Someone with so much talent that he could take a team on his shoulders, and come through when his mates need him most. Who was this hero?
Marty Richardson? You've got to be shittin' me...
With just over a minute left, defenseman Mike Abdella, still sporting that faggidy soul patch, fired a limp-wrister towards goal from the left point. Richardson was standing just left of the cage as the shot came in. The puck was knee-high for most players, which made it chest-high for the diminutive Richardson.
Richardson closed his eyes, and stuck his stick out. The puck somehow tipped off the blade, and past a stunned Megan for the game winner. It was what the French describe as "chance du toilette", which loosely translates to "shithouse luck".
Richardson, finding a nut
Now the Dawgs remarkably had a one goal lead, but the referees weren't going to let the boys get away that easily. With a minute left, they called Abdella for a holding penalty, and the Ice Pack had one more power play chance to even the contest.
They spent most of that last minute putting major pressure on the Dawgs goal. At least 5 of their 40 total shots for the game came in that last 60 seconds, and caused an exhausted Sterner to have a small conniption. The last three shots hit his lifeless body, but stayed out of the net. The Dawgs had their incredible win.
This week, the Dawgs have a chance to take giant steps toward the top seed in the playoffs, as they play the Skanks on Tuesday and then their Pepsi Center pals Cobra Kai next Monday night.
In other Dawgs news:
After months of negotiation, this week defenseman Ben Ziff was able to enroll his daughter Little Ziffer into his former school. Said Ziff, "It's like a dream come true, my baby going to my alma mater."
Little Ziffer, right
The team finally revealed this week why Tito Pijanowski was unable to play at Pepsi Center last Sunday afternoon. While having sex with his new girlfriend, he got overly excited, went much too fast, and left painful skidmarks on his penis.
"Tito hurt pee-pee. Tito need better lube..."
Playing on Dawgs II last Monday night, team captain and former gonad gobbler Marty Richardson got into his first fight ever, tangling with six-footer Sean Lieske of the Swarm. Drawing inspiration from Karate Kid III, he flipped Lieske like a cheese omelet, and pinned his face to the ice until referees could pull him off. Getting his ass kicked by a much smaller man didn't sit very well with Lieske.
Lieske
Richardson encountered more problems this week, when he discovered that there is a warrant for his arrest in Orlando, Florida. He is being charged with animal cruelty following a "date" with a cartoon legend during his vacation. Said Richardson, "It was consensual- I swear to God!"
"Uh, garsh, my ass still bleeds when I fart."
Monday, the team found out that Shaun Hollis will miss at least the next several games. During a practice session, he took an errant puck to the face, breaking his jaw, and pushing back his front teeth. Though it's an incredible loss for the team, there is one silver lining to Hollis' injury: it will be easier to make sweet love with Matt McGarvey.
"His teeth fold back now? Thank you, God!"
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