Cobra Kai Sweeps the Leg- Defeats Dawgs 5-4

The Dawgs I squad experienced the bitter taste of defeat for the first time this season Tuesday night, when they went down to their good pals Cobra Kai, by a 5-4 margin. The good guys rallied all the way back from a 4-1 second period deficit to tie the score, but couldn't quite get over the hump in the third, surrendering the game winner with around five minutes remaining.

Cobra Kai forward and former Royal Canadian Air Force commander Jon Jay led the way for his team, netting two goals, including the game winner in the third.


Jay, left, heading into battle

For the Dawgs, young Michael Heaton scored his second and third goals of the season, keying the second period comeback that fell just short.

Shaun Hollis tallied for his second consecutive game, knocking in his fourth of the fall, while Danny "Intent to Injure!" Packard scored his fifth, and managed to play the whole game without rolling around on the ice like a giant pussy.


Packard

The Dawgs were playing several men short Tuesday night, missing some key players that might have helped change the outcome. Included were Chris Acuna (wife expecting any day), Nathaniel Akell (jail), Brad Stabio (making new documentary), Tyson Dale (suspended/anger issues), Dan Pham (gay), and captain Marty Richardson (out of country...and exceptionally gay).

Goalie Al Sterner gave it his all, but unfortunately these days Sterner gets to "all" much faster than he used to, and could not summon the reserve energy to keep the puck out of the net in the third period with the game tied at four.

The road doesn't get any easier for the Dawgs this week, when they face Dr Five Hole for the second time this season. The Dawgs prevailed in the last meeting 7-4, but Dr Five Hole has a high powered offense, which is scoring at almost eight goals per game.

In other Dawgs news:

This week the EAHL announced that in a special promotion, Tuesday they would honor Cobra Kai forward Jonathan Ripley by giving him his own Bobblehead Night.


Stop kicking my ass and I'll leave you boys alone, Rips...

This week forward/defenseman Brad Stabio missed the game in order to film an autobiographical documentary. In the film, he spikes his hair, puts on a sweet purple shirt with pink stripes, drinks way too much and experiences life on the other side of the fence. It's titled, "Stabio: Portrait of a Part Time Fag".


Nice lazy eye, Stabs...

18 year old Dawgs rookie forward Josh Adams attempted to eat pussy for the first time in his life this week. The experience was not all that he had hoped for.


"Was it good for you?"

While Dawgs captain Marty Richardson was in Europe this week, Dawgs II defenseman Eddie Cribbs stopped by to make sure Richardson's wife Cindy was doing okay. The visit lasted exactly 27 seconds.


"You're done? Really? Uh, next time, could you at least lift up my dress, Speedy?"

Even though he spent most of the week working, Richardson was able to spend some time at his favorite Amsterdam landmark.

Even wore a jumpsuit in case he got spooged on