Last week I had a game in one of the leagues I play in, and I was going to the arena right after my kid's practice. For those of you new to this site, I coach hockey to 13 and 14 year old boys. My kid Sam is also a goalie (God help him), and I've been coaching on his teams for the past nine seasons.
Obviously, nobody in our association knows about my hobby of writing the smut that you read here, otherwise I'd be out on my ass. So let's just keep that our little secret, okay? But I really enjoy coaching- most of the kids are terrific, and really want to learn the game. I'm getting too old to play this shit, but I can certainly still teach it.
Anyway, I got to the rink about twenty minutes before gametime, and discovered that I had left my goalie skates in my coaching bag. I live about a half hour away from the arena, so there was no way I could get home and back, or even call my adorable wife and ask her to bring them to me.
This usually happens about once a year. I'll either forget an an article of equipment, or something will fall out of my bag when I hang my stuff up in the garage to air out. Trust me- you don't want to be anywhere near my garage when my gear is in there, especially during the summer. It smells like the fuckin' monkey house at the zoo.
But this was twice in the past month that I had something important come up missing when I got to my game. Three weeks ago, it was my nut cup. I ended up borrowing one from a very hesitant teammate, promising that: a) I wouldn't wear it against my bare skin, and b) I would have it sandblasted before I gave it back to him. So I placed it on the outside of my sweatpants, and it ended up rolling around inside my breezers the whole game. Because it moved around so much, it actually spent more time covering my butthole than my fellas. I wasn't real worried about it- I have four kids and a vasectomy, so I don't have that much use for my gonads anymore.
Not having skates was a whole other animal, though. It's not like my teammates had an extra pair bouncing around in their bag, and even if they did, goalie skates are different than regular ones. For those of you who don't know, the blade is a lot longer, and there is a plastic shell on the outside of the boot to protect the foot if the puck hits the skate.
So what was I going to do? I went to the guy at the front counter, and asked without much hope if by any chance they had some goalie skates I could borrow. He said he thought maybe they had some in their equipment room, and I could go back and take a look.
It turned out unbelievably that they had two pairs back there. I hoped that one of the pairs was somewhere near my size. I wear an eight, which is pretty small for an adult. Oh, and you can just save the small foot/dick jokes, thank you very much. My wife assures me it's much more important what you do with it. She always stifles laughter and looks away when she says that, but still...
I checked out the first pair, and I think both of my feet could have fit inside one skate. Not good. I crossed my fingers, and went to the other pair. They were a lot closer, so I tried them on. They were still too big, but I thought if I tied them as tight as possible, I could make do. It was 15 minutes until game time- beggars can't be choosers, right?
So I went back to the locker room, and absorbed the requisite amount of shit from my teammates for leaving my skates in my other bag. After taking just a quick moment to show everyone my middle finger, I started strapping my gear on. The holes were different from mine between the skate blade and the bottom of the boot, so I had to thread the straps a little bit differently. No problem.
I stood up with my pads on, and my feet were moving around inside the skate a little bit, but I tightened them so much, it wasn't too bad. No problem.
Then after the Zamboni got off the ice, I set foot onto the surface for the five minute warmup before our game. I took that first stride, and my right skate slid out from under me, like I still had the skate guards on. Then I took a stride on the other foot, and the exact same thing happened. I went to my knees, reached back, and ran my finger over the blades, expecting to remove some tape or other debris that might have gotten on the edges. It was then that I discovered that neither skate had any inside edge. I couldn't have sliced fuckin' butter with either blade.
Now we had ourselves a little problem. It was five minutes to gametime, and I had no way to put my weight on the inside edges of my skates. And for those of you who know nothing about playing goalie, you spend an enormous amount of time on your inside edges. You need them to push off to move from side to side across the goal crease, and move off your goal line to cut the angle from a shooter.
I thought to myself, "Who the fuck uses these skates?". They were sitting next to a set of pads that were still wet, so they must have been worn pretty recently. I supposed that it must be some dude that plays the game a whole bunch differently than I do.
But I had no choice. I had to try and make do with what I had, because we were out of time, and I had no other options. I very gingerly went over to our bench and told my teammates the problem, and warned them to look out for anything because I could barely stand up. One of them said, "How will we know the difference from usual, Al?" I won't tell you what I said in response, but it involved asking him to wrap his lips around a certain part of my anatomy.
So I skated back to my crease, almost falling twice on the trip. I could feel it- this was going to be the longest hour and a half of my life. Even longer than when I watched The Bounty Hunter with Jennifer Aniston. Holy shit, was that a bad movie. But I digress...
Anyway, I've thought about it a lot, and it took awhile, but I finally figured the best way to describe how I looked during the game.
Imagine a walrus with Muscular Dystrophy. One of "Jerry's Walruses", if you will. Well, I wasn't quite that graceful.
Sweet dancin' Jehovah, was I bad. In that league, I'm used to letting in just over two goals per game. It's an Over-40 league, so the level of play isn't real fast. My biggest concern normally is being patient, and waiting for the slower shots to get to me, and not overreacting.
But kids, that night I allowed a half dozen goals. And at least five were shots I would have stopped easily any other night. The worst one was a little wrist shot from the damn blue line. I tried to push off to just stick it off into the corner, but my skate went out from under me, the puck hit the heel of my stick, and went in. Kids, I've let in some fugly goals before, but this might be the biggest howler of my life.
Now, there are two silver linings to my evening from hell. First, I'm so fucking old, I'm not capable of being embarrassed anymore. The fact that I'm even writing about this debacle proves my point. Besides, there are a bunch of people out there with many more problems than letting in shitty goals. That includes a few of my Dawgs brothers that are going through some serious health problems- I'm pretty good these days about keeping things in perspective.
And second, we won the goddamn game. My mates put up seven for me, so at least I didn't bring down the entire team with my stupidity. What should have been a blowout win turned into a tight game, so I guess in the big picture, I helped make things more exciting. You're welcome.
Also, I've learned something. From now on, I will turn on the lights in my stinky garage, and make sure all my equipment is in my bag before I take off for the game. I'm already getting forgetful in my old age- it feels like I'm on a one way train bound for Senility City. Taking an extra minute may save me some future problems, or at least keep my teammates from killing me after a game.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Old Dawgs Alone At Top After Shootout Win
With the winter SDOHL nearly half over, it appears that the cream is beginning to rise to the top. Unless something strange happens, the Old Dawgs and Coyotes should be battling for the league's top spot, and the number one seed going into the playoffs.
When the teams met five weeks ago, the Coyotes came away with a 4-3 shootout victory. The Old Dawgs coughed up a two goal lead, and then the shootout went ten rounds before a winner could be decided.
It was deja vu last Tuesday night. After fighting to gain a 4-2 third period advantage, the Dawgs promptly gave it right back in the latter stages, but this time came out on the happy end of the shootout for a big 5-4 win.
Bernie Levesque continues to pile up the goals for the Old Dawgs, firing in his 11th and 12th of the season, and then netting the game winner in the shootout. Defenseman Steve DeToro put in his third, while the artist formerly known as "Jelly" got his first.
Jelly (artist rendering)
Goalie Al Sterner ran his shutout streak to five periods, and then collapsed like a chubby house of cards in the third, giving up a whopping four goals. But he did regroup in the shootout, saving all four shots he faced. The victory, though, was a little hollow for the husky veteran, because his team should have claimed all three points given for a regulation win, instead of the lousy two for a shootout victory.
Sterner-third period
As has been the case for most of the season, the Old Dawgs were missing some key players for this important contest. Those players included league leading scorer Tito Pijanowski (suspended-anger issues), Eddie Cribbs (groin injury/pussy), Ron Mulso (out of town-business), Dave Chamberlain (out of town-gay), and Chris Courtiol (in France, so exceptionally gay).
But the remaining 10 skaters were ready to go, and it looked for the first half of the game like nobody was ever going to score a goal. These were the top two defensive teams in the league, and it showed as both teams were having a hard time getting quality shots.
But DeToro finally broke the ice halfway through the second, taking a centering feed from Old Dawgs captain and former rectal ranger Marty Richardson, and tucking the puck through the pads of Coyotes goalie Ted Cetaruk.
That precarious 1-0 lead held up until the beginning of the final stanza, but then the Coyotes Steve Tautz got loose on a breakaway, and beat Sterner like a bass drum to even the score. But a minute later, "Jelly" took the puck from his defensive zone, skated down the ice and lifted the puck over Cetaruk to restore the Old Dawgs' lead.
Three minutes later, the Coyotes would level the contest again, when substitute player and league president John Ling found a loose puck in front of the Dawgs net, and fired it low, past Sterner's stick side and into the cage.
Thirty seconds later, it was Levesque's turn to give the Old Dawgs the lead back, when he converted a nice centering pass from Richardson. Then three minutes after that, he made it 4-2 with his 12th of the year, off of an assist by new Old Dawg Mike Wimmer. It was Wimmer's first point as a member of Dawg Nation.
Levesque now leads the league in goals, passing Pijanowski, but still is waiting for his elusive first assist. Of course, his chances will improve vastly when he attempts his elusive first pass. If and when he finally gets that helper, he will catch his goalie Sterner, who has led Levesque in that category for the past seven weeks.
So the Old Dawgs had their first two goal lead of the game with seven minutes left. Game over, right? Wrong. Just twenty seconds after Levesque's last goal, Tautz brought his team back to within a single marker, converting a rebound when Sterner couldn't control the first shot that hit him in one of his man-boobs. Then a minute later, Tautz completed his hat trick by undressing Sterner on a breakaway, and all of a sudden it was a brand new game.
In the space of ten minutes, a very tight, low scoring game had turned into a wide open barnburner. Seven goals were scored in that span, and both goalies, who were used to giving up around two per game, were fishing the puck out their net with shocking regularity. But things quieted down in the last five minutes, and no more goals were scored, so the two teams headed for a very important shootout. The winner would have sole possession of first place.
The first three shooters for both sides were unable to tally, as Sterner finally found a way to solve Tautz, who went third for the Coyotes. Who would captain Richardson send out next?
Paging monsieur Bernie Levesque...
Levesque, who had success earlier against Cetaruk, made his patented move, skating to the front of the net, deking to his backhand, and then lifting the puck over Cetaruk and into the top of the goal.
That terrific move needs its own name, so from now on, it will be referred to as, "The French Tickler".
No, not that kind...but the colors are French, at least
Now, all Sterner had to do was stop one more Coyotes shooter, and the extra point would go to the Old Dawgs. Sterner skated way out of his crease to challenge Matt McCoy, and when McCoy tried to make his move around Sterner, the puck rolled off his stick. Game over.
The Old Dawgs have one more game before they all celebrate Kwanzaa, and it will be this Thursday night against B&K Supply. Game time will be 7:15.
In other Dawgs news:
This week doctors discovered why Old Dawgs forward Bernie Levesque never passes the puck. Tragically, he is afflicted with a rare French disease known as Chunnel Vision.
Get it? French...Chunnel? Okay, they can't all be gems. Fuck off.
Old Dawgs defenseman Chris Courtiol missed last week's game in order to visit his family in France. But even though he was far away, hockey was still on his mind.
Cribbs
Old Dawgs forward Eric Wilks discovered this week that dressing and acting retarded is a great new way to pick up women.
Jesus tap dancin' Christ, Wilksie...
This week marked the return of Old Dawgs defenseman Nigel Richardson, who has been working in South Dakota for the past several months. Brother of Dawgs captain Marty and an expert chef, Richardson was in charge of all meals at a very exclusive hunting resort. Going the extra mile to please his clients, at the end of the day he still found time to drain their testicles by any method they chose. Now, that's service.
The Richardson brothers (combined height-6'9")
When the teams met five weeks ago, the Coyotes came away with a 4-3 shootout victory. The Old Dawgs coughed up a two goal lead, and then the shootout went ten rounds before a winner could be decided.
It was deja vu last Tuesday night. After fighting to gain a 4-2 third period advantage, the Dawgs promptly gave it right back in the latter stages, but this time came out on the happy end of the shootout for a big 5-4 win.
Bernie Levesque continues to pile up the goals for the Old Dawgs, firing in his 11th and 12th of the season, and then netting the game winner in the shootout. Defenseman Steve DeToro put in his third, while the artist formerly known as "Jelly" got his first.
Jelly (artist rendering)
Goalie Al Sterner ran his shutout streak to five periods, and then collapsed like a chubby house of cards in the third, giving up a whopping four goals. But he did regroup in the shootout, saving all four shots he faced. The victory, though, was a little hollow for the husky veteran, because his team should have claimed all three points given for a regulation win, instead of the lousy two for a shootout victory.
Sterner-third period
As has been the case for most of the season, the Old Dawgs were missing some key players for this important contest. Those players included league leading scorer Tito Pijanowski (suspended-anger issues), Eddie Cribbs (groin injury/pussy), Ron Mulso (out of town-business), Dave Chamberlain (out of town-gay), and Chris Courtiol (in France, so exceptionally gay).
But the remaining 10 skaters were ready to go, and it looked for the first half of the game like nobody was ever going to score a goal. These were the top two defensive teams in the league, and it showed as both teams were having a hard time getting quality shots.
But DeToro finally broke the ice halfway through the second, taking a centering feed from Old Dawgs captain and former rectal ranger Marty Richardson, and tucking the puck through the pads of Coyotes goalie Ted Cetaruk.
That precarious 1-0 lead held up until the beginning of the final stanza, but then the Coyotes Steve Tautz got loose on a breakaway, and beat Sterner like a bass drum to even the score. But a minute later, "Jelly" took the puck from his defensive zone, skated down the ice and lifted the puck over Cetaruk to restore the Old Dawgs' lead.
Three minutes later, the Coyotes would level the contest again, when substitute player and league president John Ling found a loose puck in front of the Dawgs net, and fired it low, past Sterner's stick side and into the cage.
Thirty seconds later, it was Levesque's turn to give the Old Dawgs the lead back, when he converted a nice centering pass from Richardson. Then three minutes after that, he made it 4-2 with his 12th of the year, off of an assist by new Old Dawg Mike Wimmer. It was Wimmer's first point as a member of Dawg Nation.
Levesque now leads the league in goals, passing Pijanowski, but still is waiting for his elusive first assist. Of course, his chances will improve vastly when he attempts his elusive first pass. If and when he finally gets that helper, he will catch his goalie Sterner, who has led Levesque in that category for the past seven weeks.
So the Old Dawgs had their first two goal lead of the game with seven minutes left. Game over, right? Wrong. Just twenty seconds after Levesque's last goal, Tautz brought his team back to within a single marker, converting a rebound when Sterner couldn't control the first shot that hit him in one of his man-boobs. Then a minute later, Tautz completed his hat trick by undressing Sterner on a breakaway, and all of a sudden it was a brand new game.
In the space of ten minutes, a very tight, low scoring game had turned into a wide open barnburner. Seven goals were scored in that span, and both goalies, who were used to giving up around two per game, were fishing the puck out their net with shocking regularity. But things quieted down in the last five minutes, and no more goals were scored, so the two teams headed for a very important shootout. The winner would have sole possession of first place.
The first three shooters for both sides were unable to tally, as Sterner finally found a way to solve Tautz, who went third for the Coyotes. Who would captain Richardson send out next?
Paging monsieur Bernie Levesque...
Levesque, who had success earlier against Cetaruk, made his patented move, skating to the front of the net, deking to his backhand, and then lifting the puck over Cetaruk and into the top of the goal.
That terrific move needs its own name, so from now on, it will be referred to as, "The French Tickler".
No, not that kind...but the colors are French, at least
Now, all Sterner had to do was stop one more Coyotes shooter, and the extra point would go to the Old Dawgs. Sterner skated way out of his crease to challenge Matt McCoy, and when McCoy tried to make his move around Sterner, the puck rolled off his stick. Game over.
The Old Dawgs have one more game before they all celebrate Kwanzaa, and it will be this Thursday night against B&K Supply. Game time will be 7:15.
In other Dawgs news:
This week doctors discovered why Old Dawgs forward Bernie Levesque never passes the puck. Tragically, he is afflicted with a rare French disease known as Chunnel Vision.
Get it? French...Chunnel? Okay, they can't all be gems. Fuck off.
Old Dawgs defenseman Chris Courtiol missed last week's game in order to visit his family in France. But even though he was far away, hockey was still on his mind.
Mon Dieu...
This week Dawgs defenseman/forward/you never really fuckin' know Tito Pijanowski went to anger management therapy as part of his SDOHL suspension. But just six minutes minutes into the session, the doctor said the wrong thing, and, you know...
Might need another appointment or two...
Old Dawgs forward Eddie Cribbs continues to be hobbled by a groin injury, which was caused by a gruesome masturbation accident. On the plus side, it has done wonders for other parts of his body.
Cribbs
Old Dawgs forward Eric Wilks discovered this week that dressing and acting retarded is a great new way to pick up women.
Jesus tap dancin' Christ, Wilksie...
This week marked the return of Old Dawgs defenseman Nigel Richardson, who has been working in South Dakota for the past several months. Brother of Dawgs captain Marty and an expert chef, Richardson was in charge of all meals at a very exclusive hunting resort. Going the extra mile to please his clients, at the end of the day he still found time to drain their testicles by any method they chose. Now, that's service.
The Richardson brothers (combined height-6'9")
Friday, December 10, 2010
Getting a Rush in South Dakota
So last week my wife Annie and I had to drive up to Rapid City, South Dakota to attend my aunt's funeral. She was almost 84 and she always treated me great when I was a kid, so I was more than happy to drive the 400 miles to pay my respects. Just a terrific lady.
The service was Friday afternoon, so we had the evening free before we came back home Saturday morning. My younger brother and sister had come for the funeral as well, so I imagined we would be hanging out at the hotel, drinking beer and telling stories like we always do.
Well, it turns out that my step-cousin Barry Peterson is a part owner of the Rapid City Rush, which competes in the Central Hockey League. For those of you from around Denver, they compete in the same league as the Colorado Eagles- if it were baseball, it would be considered AA level. It's two steps from The Show.
So during the reception after the service Friday afternoon, Barry asked us if we would like to go the the game that evening- his team was playing against the Quad City Mallards in the first of a weekend series ("Quad City" is a group of towns in Eastern Illinois and Southern Iowa, in case you were wondering- I had to look it up).
If you don't know how I answered that question, then you need to read this blog more often. Hockey game? Just tell me where and when- you bet your ass I'm there. So Barry made a phone call and hooked us up with some seats, and we made plans to head on down to the Rushmore Plaza Civic Center.
Kids, I've been going to hockey games since 1975, starting with the old Colorado Rockies when they first got into the NHL. I was a season ticket holder with the Colorado Avalanche, and I was actually at game seven in 2001 when Ray Bourque finally won his cup. I've been to hundreds and hundreds of games at all levels.
But you know what? I can't remember the last time I had this much fun at a hockey game.
It started an hour before the opening faceoff. There is a Holiday Inn right in the same parking lot as the arena, and they have $2 beers in their courtyard and bar before every Rush contest. So we drove down there, and it was just a sea of humanity inside the hotel. There were tons of people, and most of them were wearing their red and white team jerseys, jackets, and hats. It was like a tailgate party, only indoors. And they were really fired up for the game.
All this intensity for minor league hockey? No shit? I had been to several games of the Rocky Mountain Rage (same CHL league as the Rush) before they went tits up last year, and it was never anything like this. It was fun, but it certainly wasn't the event they were putting on in Rapid.
About 15 minutes before game time, we walked across the parking lot, and into the arena. The Civic Center holds around 5000, and it was already filled almost to capacity. Barry tells me that they sell out most of the time, especially after the holidays. And I was about to find out why.
Boys and girls, the show that the Rush organization puts on during a game rivals anything I've ever seen in the NHL. Starting with the player introductions, the presentation is absolutely top shelf. The music is just the right combination of new and old, and really serves the purpose of keeping the crowd fired up during the game.
They had fun activities between periods. That night, after the first, they had a race between two guys driving those scooters that old people use. Can't say I've ever seen that before, and it showed a lot of imagination.
Then after the second, they had a deal where you could buy foam rubber pucks, and when they gave the signal, you threw them on the ice, and the one who came closest to the center dot would win a prize. I think there is a technique to that, because I ended up throwing like old people screw, which is badly. Not even close, but it sure was fun.
Myself, I was kind of hoping for the guys in the big sumo outfits that play and try to knock each other down. That kills me every time- I see on their website that they've done it before.
See? That can't help but be funny
Now, here's a source of a running argument between Annie and myself. They had cheerleaders (the Rushettes), which she doesn't think belongs in hockey. I respectfully disagree- anything that serves to keep the crowd entertained, especially during timeouts, is fine by me. I was fascinated at how they kept their routines coordinated, because it changed every time they would play a different song before faceoffs. Plus, you know, there's this...
Yeah-that's hockey right there...
And here was my favorite part of the evening. Quad City scored early to take the lead, and then about two minutes later, Rapid City put in a shot from the point to tie things up. Right after the puck hit the back of the net, it started raining stuffed animals on the ice. Kids, I'm talking about hundreds of stuffed toys coming in from all parts of the arena. The ice was literally covered with the things.
I looked at Annie and yelled, "What the hell is happening?" A lady behind me, wearing full Rush gear and whom I assumed was a season ticket holder, told me that every year they have a toy drive for the needy kids in the area. Everybody brings a stuffed animal, and when the Rush scores that first goal, that's the way they collect the toys.
You should have seen it. I don't know if it's because I wasn't expecting it, but honest to God, it may have been the coolest thing I've ever seen at a hockey game. And like I said, I watched Ray Bourque get his Stanley Cup. I'm getting goose bumps just writing about it now.
As for the game itself, the level of play was solid. The intensity of the crowd had to help, because both teams were busting their ass out there. It was a wide open, very attractive contest. And the fans were eating it up- I can't even imagine what it must be like in there when the playoffs start.
Late in the third, the Mallards scored on a power play to take a 4-3 lead, and things were looking grim for the home side. The Rush pulled their goalie for an extra attacker, and had the puck in the Quad City zone. With less than 10 seconds left, the puck got dropped back to a Rapid City defenseman, and he ripped a shot that sniped the top corner of the net. Tie game.
Tell you what- the friggin' roof about came off the joint. I didn't have any stake in this game, and I didn't know any of the players, but I found myself jumping around like a little kid, and high fiving everyone in sight. I was that caught up in the atmosphere.
They ended up going into overtime, and unfortunately the Rush lost in a shootout. But the thing that I'll remember about the end is that starting with a minute left in the game, and going all the way through the shootout, which was probably a total of 15-20 minutes, nobody in the arena sat down. Not once. And the part that kept coming back to me was that it was a regular season game in early December, not a crucial game late in the season.
I've been to some Avalanche games recently, and I think because they charge so damn much for tickets, regular hockey fans can't afford to go anymore. That's why even on the rare occasions when they have a decent sized crowd, there is a different feel now. Honestly, it's like going to the freaking library. There isn't the excitement that I discovered in South Dakota for a lousy 17 bucks per seat.
Barry, thanks to you and your fans for showing me again what going to a hockey game should be all about. You have a terrific organization, and I can't wait to do it again.
The service was Friday afternoon, so we had the evening free before we came back home Saturday morning. My younger brother and sister had come for the funeral as well, so I imagined we would be hanging out at the hotel, drinking beer and telling stories like we always do.
Well, it turns out that my step-cousin Barry Peterson is a part owner of the Rapid City Rush, which competes in the Central Hockey League. For those of you from around Denver, they compete in the same league as the Colorado Eagles- if it were baseball, it would be considered AA level. It's two steps from The Show.
So during the reception after the service Friday afternoon, Barry asked us if we would like to go the the game that evening- his team was playing against the Quad City Mallards in the first of a weekend series ("Quad City" is a group of towns in Eastern Illinois and Southern Iowa, in case you were wondering- I had to look it up).
If you don't know how I answered that question, then you need to read this blog more often. Hockey game? Just tell me where and when- you bet your ass I'm there. So Barry made a phone call and hooked us up with some seats, and we made plans to head on down to the Rushmore Plaza Civic Center.
Kids, I've been going to hockey games since 1975, starting with the old Colorado Rockies when they first got into the NHL. I was a season ticket holder with the Colorado Avalanche, and I was actually at game seven in 2001 when Ray Bourque finally won his cup. I've been to hundreds and hundreds of games at all levels.
But you know what? I can't remember the last time I had this much fun at a hockey game.
It started an hour before the opening faceoff. There is a Holiday Inn right in the same parking lot as the arena, and they have $2 beers in their courtyard and bar before every Rush contest. So we drove down there, and it was just a sea of humanity inside the hotel. There were tons of people, and most of them were wearing their red and white team jerseys, jackets, and hats. It was like a tailgate party, only indoors. And they were really fired up for the game.
All this intensity for minor league hockey? No shit? I had been to several games of the Rocky Mountain Rage (same CHL league as the Rush) before they went tits up last year, and it was never anything like this. It was fun, but it certainly wasn't the event they were putting on in Rapid.
About 15 minutes before game time, we walked across the parking lot, and into the arena. The Civic Center holds around 5000, and it was already filled almost to capacity. Barry tells me that they sell out most of the time, especially after the holidays. And I was about to find out why.
Boys and girls, the show that the Rush organization puts on during a game rivals anything I've ever seen in the NHL. Starting with the player introductions, the presentation is absolutely top shelf. The music is just the right combination of new and old, and really serves the purpose of keeping the crowd fired up during the game.
They had fun activities between periods. That night, after the first, they had a race between two guys driving those scooters that old people use. Can't say I've ever seen that before, and it showed a lot of imagination.
Then after the second, they had a deal where you could buy foam rubber pucks, and when they gave the signal, you threw them on the ice, and the one who came closest to the center dot would win a prize. I think there is a technique to that, because I ended up throwing like old people screw, which is badly. Not even close, but it sure was fun.
Myself, I was kind of hoping for the guys in the big sumo outfits that play and try to knock each other down. That kills me every time- I see on their website that they've done it before.
See? That can't help but be funny
Now, here's a source of a running argument between Annie and myself. They had cheerleaders (the Rushettes), which she doesn't think belongs in hockey. I respectfully disagree- anything that serves to keep the crowd entertained, especially during timeouts, is fine by me. I was fascinated at how they kept their routines coordinated, because it changed every time they would play a different song before faceoffs. Plus, you know, there's this...
Yeah-that's hockey right there...
And here was my favorite part of the evening. Quad City scored early to take the lead, and then about two minutes later, Rapid City put in a shot from the point to tie things up. Right after the puck hit the back of the net, it started raining stuffed animals on the ice. Kids, I'm talking about hundreds of stuffed toys coming in from all parts of the arena. The ice was literally covered with the things.
I looked at Annie and yelled, "What the hell is happening?" A lady behind me, wearing full Rush gear and whom I assumed was a season ticket holder, told me that every year they have a toy drive for the needy kids in the area. Everybody brings a stuffed animal, and when the Rush scores that first goal, that's the way they collect the toys.
You should have seen it. I don't know if it's because I wasn't expecting it, but honest to God, it may have been the coolest thing I've ever seen at a hockey game. And like I said, I watched Ray Bourque get his Stanley Cup. I'm getting goose bumps just writing about it now.
As for the game itself, the level of play was solid. The intensity of the crowd had to help, because both teams were busting their ass out there. It was a wide open, very attractive contest. And the fans were eating it up- I can't even imagine what it must be like in there when the playoffs start.
Late in the third, the Mallards scored on a power play to take a 4-3 lead, and things were looking grim for the home side. The Rush pulled their goalie for an extra attacker, and had the puck in the Quad City zone. With less than 10 seconds left, the puck got dropped back to a Rapid City defenseman, and he ripped a shot that sniped the top corner of the net. Tie game.
Tell you what- the friggin' roof about came off the joint. I didn't have any stake in this game, and I didn't know any of the players, but I found myself jumping around like a little kid, and high fiving everyone in sight. I was that caught up in the atmosphere.
They ended up going into overtime, and unfortunately the Rush lost in a shootout. But the thing that I'll remember about the end is that starting with a minute left in the game, and going all the way through the shootout, which was probably a total of 15-20 minutes, nobody in the arena sat down. Not once. And the part that kept coming back to me was that it was a regular season game in early December, not a crucial game late in the season.
I've been to some Avalanche games recently, and I think because they charge so damn much for tickets, regular hockey fans can't afford to go anymore. That's why even on the rare occasions when they have a decent sized crowd, there is a different feel now. Honestly, it's like going to the freaking library. There isn't the excitement that I discovered in South Dakota for a lousy 17 bucks per seat.
Barry, thanks to you and your fans for showing me again what going to a hockey game should be all about. You have a terrific organization, and I can't wait to do it again.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Old Dawgs Still On Top After 6-0 Win
Five weeks ago, the Old Dawgs were forced to play Team Yellow with just seven skaters, and while they battled gamely, they wore down in the third period, eventually losing by a 3-2 score.
And last Thursday, it looked like history might possibly repeat itself. When the puck dropped, there were only nine, which could have spelled disaster once again, considering that the combined age of that group is 647.
But things went much better this time. Nine eventually became 10, and the late game fade never happened, as the Old Dawgs rolled to a convincing 6-0 victory.
Bernie Levesque, who has been battling a tough combination of a nagging groin injury and being French, came through huge for his squad with a three goal chapeau trick. Brother-in-law Chris Courtiol added two goals and an assist, and played a terrific defensive game, while forward Dave Chamberlain ripped in his third of the year, and played his best overall game of the season.
Goalie Al Sterner faced only 14 shots, with just a few being dangerous, to pick up his first shutout of this, or any other millenium.
The Old Dawgs got off to their customary great start, when Levesque sprung himself on a breakaway and beat Yellow goalie Vince Sciandra just under six minutes into the first period. The Dawgs have now scored the first goal in every game this season- hanging on to that lead has been the problem.
But Courtiol helped matters greatly before the end of the period, knocking in his second and third of the season. The second goal came off of a nice feed from John Theilen, who took the evening off from working with comedian Jeff Dunham.
Theilen, left
So the Dawgs were cruising at 3-0 going into the second period, and things got even better 21 seconds in when Levesque cashed in his second of the night, with Courtiol picking up the helper. And then when Chamberlain found the net with a laser shot from the point before the end of the frame, the good guys had a lead that even they couldn't give away.
Things can get ugly when a team leads by five goals, even in the old fart league. And ugly it became with nine minutes left, when Team Yellow's Greg Klaas was called for holding the stick of Old Dawgs sort of defenseman Tito Pijanowski. The problem was that even after the whistle, Klaas wouldn' release Pijanowski's stick, resulting in Pijanowski dragging Klaas around the ice, and giving him an amateur apendectomy, twisting the stick until he finally let loose.
The referee decided to penalize both players, resulting in a very unhappy Polish Prince. Pijanowski slammed the penalty box door, and then slammed in again. And then slammed it again. It was then that Mr. Referee invited Pijanowski to hit the bricks, giving him a game misconduct penalty that will keep him out of this week's important contest against the Coyotes.
But Tito wasn't quite done. He did leave the ice, but not before skating to the Team Yellow bench and threatening the life of poor forward Michelle Bean, who promptly soiled her Depends.
He really frightened her...
Then with six minutes left, defenseman Courtiol was taken hard into the boards by Team Yellow forward Mario Lopez. This was the second consecutive game against the Old Dawgs that Lopez had delivered an unnecessary check, putting him into the early lead for the Bobby Norris Memorial Trophy for being the league's biggest dickhole.
Lopez
Courtiol, to his tremendous credit, skated away without retaliating. That restraint, along with scoring two goals, and even dropping down on defense to block several shots in front of Sterner, showed what an asset he has become this season as a new Dawg.
On the ensuing power play, Levesque completed his hat trick, and now has 10 goals on the campaign, tying him for the goal scoring lead with Tito Pijanowski. Those 10 goals, combined with all his assists, now give him a total of, well, 10 points. In fact, at press time his goalie has more assists than Levesque, which is the source of great joy for Al Sterner.
The Old Dawgs now play an important game Thursday night, when they face off against the Coyotes. The two teams are tied at the top of the SDOHL table with 16 points. Game time is 9:55.
In other Old Dawgs news:
Because the Old Dawgs played so well without them last week, Tuesday afternoon the team traded captain Marty Richardson, Eddie Cribbs and a six pack of Old Milwaukee to Touchstone Imaging. In return the Old Dawgs got multi-talented forward Kathleen Ziff.
Hope Touchstone doesn't change their mind...
Forward Eric Wilks also missed the game last week, going on vacation to a special place where he could wear a flowered bathing cap, swim and smoke at the same time without being judged. That special place....France.
That's really him...no shit
This week, because he has become a danger to himself, doctors have ordered Old Dawgs defenseman Chris Courtiol to wear a hockey helmet full time.
You look great, Rain Man...
As stated earlier, Dawgs captain and former dong recepticle Marty Richardson missed last week's game, opting instead to take his wife Cindy on a special anniversary trip to San Diego. But as usual, they ended up spending the entire weekend in Tijuana at the donkey shows. Saturday night, they enjoyed an exciting three way with their new friend Pablo.
One of them really enjoyed the size of Pablo's "member". So did Cindy.
And last Thursday, it looked like history might possibly repeat itself. When the puck dropped, there were only nine, which could have spelled disaster once again, considering that the combined age of that group is 647.
But things went much better this time. Nine eventually became 10, and the late game fade never happened, as the Old Dawgs rolled to a convincing 6-0 victory.
Bernie Levesque, who has been battling a tough combination of a nagging groin injury and being French, came through huge for his squad with a three goal chapeau trick. Brother-in-law Chris Courtiol added two goals and an assist, and played a terrific defensive game, while forward Dave Chamberlain ripped in his third of the year, and played his best overall game of the season.
Goalie Al Sterner faced only 14 shots, with just a few being dangerous, to pick up his first shutout of this, or any other millenium.
The Old Dawgs got off to their customary great start, when Levesque sprung himself on a breakaway and beat Yellow goalie Vince Sciandra just under six minutes into the first period. The Dawgs have now scored the first goal in every game this season- hanging on to that lead has been the problem.
But Courtiol helped matters greatly before the end of the period, knocking in his second and third of the season. The second goal came off of a nice feed from John Theilen, who took the evening off from working with comedian Jeff Dunham.
Theilen, left
So the Dawgs were cruising at 3-0 going into the second period, and things got even better 21 seconds in when Levesque cashed in his second of the night, with Courtiol picking up the helper. And then when Chamberlain found the net with a laser shot from the point before the end of the frame, the good guys had a lead that even they couldn't give away.
Things can get ugly when a team leads by five goals, even in the old fart league. And ugly it became with nine minutes left, when Team Yellow's Greg Klaas was called for holding the stick of Old Dawgs sort of defenseman Tito Pijanowski. The problem was that even after the whistle, Klaas wouldn' release Pijanowski's stick, resulting in Pijanowski dragging Klaas around the ice, and giving him an amateur apendectomy, twisting the stick until he finally let loose.
The referee decided to penalize both players, resulting in a very unhappy Polish Prince. Pijanowski slammed the penalty box door, and then slammed in again. And then slammed it again. It was then that Mr. Referee invited Pijanowski to hit the bricks, giving him a game misconduct penalty that will keep him out of this week's important contest against the Coyotes.
But Tito wasn't quite done. He did leave the ice, but not before skating to the Team Yellow bench and threatening the life of poor forward Michelle Bean, who promptly soiled her Depends.
He really frightened her...
Then with six minutes left, defenseman Courtiol was taken hard into the boards by Team Yellow forward Mario Lopez. This was the second consecutive game against the Old Dawgs that Lopez had delivered an unnecessary check, putting him into the early lead for the Bobby Norris Memorial Trophy for being the league's biggest dickhole.
Lopez
Courtiol, to his tremendous credit, skated away without retaliating. That restraint, along with scoring two goals, and even dropping down on defense to block several shots in front of Sterner, showed what an asset he has become this season as a new Dawg.
On the ensuing power play, Levesque completed his hat trick, and now has 10 goals on the campaign, tying him for the goal scoring lead with Tito Pijanowski. Those 10 goals, combined with all his assists, now give him a total of, well, 10 points. In fact, at press time his goalie has more assists than Levesque, which is the source of great joy for Al Sterner.
The Old Dawgs now play an important game Thursday night, when they face off against the Coyotes. The two teams are tied at the top of the SDOHL table with 16 points. Game time is 9:55.
In other Old Dawgs news:
Because the Old Dawgs played so well without them last week, Tuesday afternoon the team traded captain Marty Richardson, Eddie Cribbs and a six pack of Old Milwaukee to Touchstone Imaging. In return the Old Dawgs got multi-talented forward Kathleen Ziff.
Hope Touchstone doesn't change their mind...
Forward Eric Wilks also missed the game last week, going on vacation to a special place where he could wear a flowered bathing cap, swim and smoke at the same time without being judged. That special place....France.
That's really him...no shit
This week, because he has become a danger to himself, doctors have ordered Old Dawgs defenseman Chris Courtiol to wear a hockey helmet full time.
You look great, Rain Man...
As stated earlier, Dawgs captain and former dong recepticle Marty Richardson missed last week's game, opting instead to take his wife Cindy on a special anniversary trip to San Diego. But as usual, they ended up spending the entire weekend in Tijuana at the donkey shows. Saturday night, they enjoyed an exciting three way with their new friend Pablo.
One of them really enjoyed the size of Pablo's "member". So did Cindy.
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