When the teams met five weeks ago, the Coyotes came away with a 4-3 shootout victory. The Old Dawgs coughed up a two goal lead, and then the shootout went ten rounds before a winner could be decided.
It was deja vu last Tuesday night. After fighting to gain a 4-2 third period advantage, the Dawgs promptly gave it right back in the latter stages, but this time came out on the happy end of the shootout for a big 5-4 win.
Bernie Levesque continues to pile up the goals for the Old Dawgs, firing in his 11th and 12th of the season, and then netting the game winner in the shootout. Defenseman Steve DeToro put in his third, while the artist formerly known as "Jelly" got his first.
Jelly (artist rendering)
Goalie Al Sterner ran his shutout streak to five periods, and then collapsed like a chubby house of cards in the third, giving up a whopping four goals. But he did regroup in the shootout, saving all four shots he faced. The victory, though, was a little hollow for the husky veteran, because his team should have claimed all three points given for a regulation win, instead of the lousy two for a shootout victory.
Sterner-third period
As has been the case for most of the season, the Old Dawgs were missing some key players for this important contest. Those players included league leading scorer Tito Pijanowski (suspended-anger issues), Eddie Cribbs (groin injury/pussy), Ron Mulso (out of town-business), Dave Chamberlain (out of town-gay), and Chris Courtiol (in France, so exceptionally gay).
But the remaining 10 skaters were ready to go, and it looked for the first half of the game like nobody was ever going to score a goal. These were the top two defensive teams in the league, and it showed as both teams were having a hard time getting quality shots.
But DeToro finally broke the ice halfway through the second, taking a centering feed from Old Dawgs captain and former rectal ranger Marty Richardson, and tucking the puck through the pads of Coyotes goalie Ted Cetaruk.
That precarious 1-0 lead held up until the beginning of the final stanza, but then the Coyotes Steve Tautz got loose on a breakaway, and beat Sterner like a bass drum to even the score. But a minute later, "Jelly" took the puck from his defensive zone, skated down the ice and lifted the puck over Cetaruk to restore the Old Dawgs' lead.
Three minutes later, the Coyotes would level the contest again, when substitute player and league president John Ling found a loose puck in front of the Dawgs net, and fired it low, past Sterner's stick side and into the cage.
Thirty seconds later, it was Levesque's turn to give the Old Dawgs the lead back, when he converted a nice centering pass from Richardson. Then three minutes after that, he made it 4-2 with his 12th of the year, off of an assist by new Old Dawg Mike Wimmer. It was Wimmer's first point as a member of Dawg Nation.
Levesque now leads the league in goals, passing Pijanowski, but still is waiting for his elusive first assist. Of course, his chances will improve vastly when he attempts his elusive first pass. If and when he finally gets that helper, he will catch his goalie Sterner, who has led Levesque in that category for the past seven weeks.
So the Old Dawgs had their first two goal lead of the game with seven minutes left. Game over, right? Wrong. Just twenty seconds after Levesque's last goal, Tautz brought his team back to within a single marker, converting a rebound when Sterner couldn't control the first shot that hit him in one of his man-boobs. Then a minute later, Tautz completed his hat trick by undressing Sterner on a breakaway, and all of a sudden it was a brand new game.
In the space of ten minutes, a very tight, low scoring game had turned into a wide open barnburner. Seven goals were scored in that span, and both goalies, who were used to giving up around two per game, were fishing the puck out their net with shocking regularity. But things quieted down in the last five minutes, and no more goals were scored, so the two teams headed for a very important shootout. The winner would have sole possession of first place.
The first three shooters for both sides were unable to tally, as Sterner finally found a way to solve Tautz, who went third for the Coyotes. Who would captain Richardson send out next?
Paging monsieur Bernie Levesque...
Levesque, who had success earlier against Cetaruk, made his patented move, skating to the front of the net, deking to his backhand, and then lifting the puck over Cetaruk and into the top of the goal.
That terrific move needs its own name, so from now on, it will be referred to as, "The French Tickler".
No, not that kind...but the colors are French, at least
Now, all Sterner had to do was stop one more Coyotes shooter, and the extra point would go to the Old Dawgs. Sterner skated way out of his crease to challenge Matt McCoy, and when McCoy tried to make his move around Sterner, the puck rolled off his stick. Game over.
The Old Dawgs have one more game before they all celebrate Kwanzaa, and it will be this Thursday night against B&K Supply. Game time will be 7:15.
In other Dawgs news:
This week doctors discovered why Old Dawgs forward Bernie Levesque never passes the puck. Tragically, he is afflicted with a rare French disease known as Chunnel Vision.
Get it? French...Chunnel? Okay, they can't all be gems. Fuck off.
Old Dawgs defenseman Chris Courtiol missed last week's game in order to visit his family in France. But even though he was far away, hockey was still on his mind.
Mon Dieu...
This week Dawgs defenseman/forward/you never really fuckin' know Tito Pijanowski went to anger management therapy as part of his SDOHL suspension. But just six minutes minutes into the session, the doctor said the wrong thing, and, you know...
Might need another appointment or two...
Old Dawgs forward Eddie Cribbs continues to be hobbled by a groin injury, which was caused by a gruesome masturbation accident. On the plus side, it has done wonders for other parts of his body.
Cribbs
Old Dawgs forward Eric Wilks discovered this week that dressing and acting retarded is a great new way to pick up women.
Jesus tap dancin' Christ, Wilksie...
This week marked the return of Old Dawgs defenseman Nigel Richardson, who has been working in South Dakota for the past several months. Brother of Dawgs captain Marty and an expert chef, Richardson was in charge of all meals at a very exclusive hunting resort. Going the extra mile to please his clients, at the end of the day he still found time to drain their testicles by any method they chose. Now, that's service.
The Richardson brothers (combined height-6'9")
No comments:
Post a Comment