Six Dawgs Take the Tattoo Plunge

After looking at this photo, you may be asking yourself, "Holy shit, are they bringing back the Village People?", or "Do they not have the sun where these guys are from? Or maybe "Why is that kid on the left taking a piss in the corner?"

All are good and legitimate questions. But no, there are no plans for the new Village People (if only it were true). These six, pasty white doughy fellows decided to be the first members of Dawg Nation to make it official with a team logo tattoo.

Last Saturday night, they all gathered in the tattoo capitol of Northern Colorado, Longmont, and journeyed together to a parlor that has undergone several name changes. First, it was "Tat's Incredible!", but later switched to "Tats and Ass!".

Recently, though, they reopened under new management, and it is now called, "I Thought I Saw a Pussy Tat!"

So these six brave soldiers, sporting a combined IQ of around 135, took the needle and thus took Dawg Nation to an entirely new level.

Let's just introduce they cast, shall we? First, it's the team of Danny Packard and his dad, "Superfan" Rob Packard.



Rob is a Dawg Nation Hockey Foundation board member, and the guy most often in the stands watching Dawgs games. He received the first tattoo of his life, after getting a reluctant okay from his beautiful wife Kelli. Kelli reasoned that it would make things easier when she and Rob play "The Hell's Angel and the naughty biker chick" on Saturday nights. In case you were wondering, Rob plays the role of the biker chick.

Danny is one of the inspirations for our charitable foundation, kicking the ass of thyroid cancer in the past year. He decided to get his Dawgs logo on his ribs, reasoning that he's been married since last August, and nothing could possibly be more painful than that. From all reports, it was close.

Tito Pijanowski is another Dawgs board member, and has recently taken to trimming his hair and mustache to look like Freddie Mercury from Queen. He also plays defense like, well, Freddie Mercury from Queen. He's hoping not to die the same way Freddie did, but at this point, it's not completely out of the question.


Fun fact: Tito thinks "Dawg" is spelled correctly

Nathaniel Akell is one of the younger members of Dawg Nation, and is the second funniest. This good natured hemp aficianado received his tattoo below his bicep, which he proudly shows off in this picture.



What Akell didn't take into account, is that in twenty years gravity and age will kick in. Then, because of the sag factor, it will appear that the Dawg is constantly going for a walk. Best of luck with that, Nate.

Akell was also the only Dawg in the group with previous tattoo experience, receiving one a few years ago that is both stylish and informative.



Josh Adams was the youngest Dawg to receive a tattoo, and failed to inform his parents that he would be changing his body forever. He will now be grounded for one month, and will not be able to play Call of Duty: Don't Ask/Don't Tell with his friends.

Josh received his Dawg logo on his shoulder blade, as shown here:



But it was later discovered that the real reason for the location was to give this guy something to look at during "boom boom time".


The poor kid will never be able to fart again...

And finally, Dawg Nation founder, president, and former pogo pumper Marty Richardson made good on his promise from two years ago, when Dawgs I won their first championship. The delay was that he was actually considering several other designs to be his first tattoo:







But once he finally settled on the standard, terrific Dawgs logo, there was only one other question. Could he find at least five other people stupid enough to join him? As was shown in the hugely successful Dawg Bowl I tournament, his powers of persuasion are like no other. The guy could sell beach houses in Japan.


Too soon? Nah...

He also brought his wife Cindy and two of his lovely daughters for moral support. But they spent most of the evening lamenting at how difficult it is to live under the same roof with such a complete tool.


"No, kids, Dad wasn't always a douche. Just for the past fifteen years or so..."

So the moment came. Marty peeled off the flannel shirt he was wearing from the Ellen DeGeneres collection, and revealed a muscle shirt that he must have borrowed from Mickey Rourke for the weekend. Then, after roughly a half hour of sobbing, and pleading for tattoo artist Dean Paget to "make the ouchie stop", Marty displayed his ink.


You just can't help but be intimidated by that sight

So here again are the first six to make the lifetime commitment to Dawg Nation, along with their artist:


Jesus H. tap dancin' Christ...

They are a very diverse group. Some are young, and some are old. Some are gay, and some could go either way. Some are white, and some are really white. At least one is a big old Polack. Some should never be seen without a shirt, and...no, they all should never be seen without a shirt.

But if they weren't before, they will now always be a band of brothers. They now have a permanent momento of the growing entity that is Dawg Nation.