Sully Scores In Old Dawgs 5-1 Win

The Old Dawgs impressed once again last Thursday night, skating past Touchstone Imaging, 5-1. The victory, combined with the Coyotes 3-2 overtime loss to B&K Supply, stretches the Dawgs' lead to eight points in the SDOHL standings.

The Old Dawgs featured a balanced attack, with five different skaters lighting the lamp. Tito Pijanowski and his baboon heart scored his second of the season with three assists, Rand Peterson his fifth, Dan Cashman notched his fourth, and Mario Lopez banged in his sixth of the winter campaign.

But the real story of the game was 68 year old Mike Sullivan, who scored his first of the season, and first since joining Dawg Nation last summer. His second period redirection of a Pijanowski shot now gives him one more goal than two other skaters on the Dawgs roster, who are apparently more comfortable holding other things in their hands besides hockey sticks.


Jimmy Tiernan


Eddie Cribbs

Goalie Al Sterner returned from yet another knee injury and got his seventh win of the year, turning aside 21 of 22 shots. He was helped greatly by his defensive corps, who limited the quality shots by Touchstone, and made it a fairly easy night in goal for the rapidly deteriorating Sterner.


Not his healthiest season

Pijanowski opened the scoring six minutes into the first period, on one of his patented end to end rushes, featuring the one-handed "polish snowplow".


We've missed that, Tito...

Less than a minute later, Rand Peterson doubled the Old Dawgs' lead, converting a nice feed from Mike Wimmer. So it was 2-0 heading for the middle frame.

Then, at the 16 minute mark of the second, it was time for some history. Pijanowski passed the puck from the point, and Mike Sullivan, who was camped out in front of the net, one-timed a laser past Touchstone goalie Vince Sciandra. Sully now has scored goals in six different decades of playing hockey, and will only be 76 when he gets his chance to improve that record in 2020.

Or there might be one other small possibility...



The Old Dawgs bench erupted, and made so much noise that, for a moment, Sully thought it was 1945, and everyone was celebrating VJ Day. Confused, he joined in.


"Uh...yeah! Fuck the Japs!"

After the game, Sully celebrated his accomplishment by performing a perfect "Tebow", kneeling as he came out of the shower, only wrapped in a towel. Horrified teammates encouraged him to get up, yelling: "Sully! God wants you to get dressed!"

The game seemed a little anticlimactic after the big goal, but the Old Dawgs scored two more in the third period to put the game out of reach. Dan Cashman banged in a rebound from a Mario Lopez shot, and 30 seconds later Lopez took a great cross ice feed from defenseman Greg Clinard, skated across the crease, and beat Sciandra to close out the Dawgs scoring.

Sterner lost his shutout five minutes into the third, and it would be impolite to name the player who was completely responsible for giving away the puck, resulting in the lone goal.

But his initials are: Tito Pijanowski.




The Dawgs now face Team Yellow, featuring league scoring leader Paul Truex. Game time is 9:55.

In other Old Dawgs news:

This week, an old army photo was found of Old Dawgs forward Mike Sullivan who served in the Vietnam War (no shit, he really did). He's hardly changed one bit over the years.



Okay, maybe he changed a little. Still a handsome devil, though...

Little Alexi Richardson accidentally walked in this week while her parents Marty and Cindi were having sex. She still can't get this look off her face:


"It looked like daddy was winning!"

This week Old Dawgs defenseman Jimmy Tiernan was arrested after being caught jacking off in a theater while watching the movie Warhorse.


"Jesus Christ- didn't you see his flanks?!!"

I'm Like Phil Collins, But Not In a Good Way

When I was a much, much younger man, back in the late 70's and 80's, I loved a band called Genesis. In fact, I still do. They played just the kind of music I love, and had a string of hits well into the 90's. But I never got to see them live during their heyday, because they never came to Denver. Phil Collins came a few times as a solo act, and I enjoyed that, but the music was different than when the trio played together.

When they split up later in the 90's, I never thought I'd get the chance to see the group play. Then about four years ago, they got together for a reunion tour that would include a night at the Pepsi Center here in Denver. Well, after spontaneously shitting my pants, I jumped on line the first day and scored good seats. I couldn't have been more excited- my older brother Dale and I would finally get a chance to see the band we'd loved for almost 30 years.

We showed up, along with a shitload of other people around our age, and had a great time for two hours. They played almost all the songs we love, but because their library is so huge, left out a few that we would have liked to hear. It would have taken all night to play every one of their best songs, so we understood.

But there was something just a bit off. The music didn't quite have the same intensity as the original albums, and Phil had to sing a couple of keys lower, because he couldn't hit the high notes anymore. It didn't make the concert bad- it was just different.

It was then that I realized that it was because these guys were just getting fuckin' old. The boys were in their mid 50's, they all gained a little weight, and just couldn't quite bring the same game that they had as younger men. I only ever heard the songs as they were played on the CD's, never live, so I had nothing for comparison over the years. And honestly, it made me a little bit sad.

I bring this up because I just saw a concert of theirs over the holidays called When In Rome, which was recorded in Italy during that same reunion tour. I really enjoyed it, but again noticed that they couldn't play the way they did twenty years earlier. But they really seemed to enjoy performing together again, and the huge crowd in Rome loved the show.

Seeing that concert has made me realize something: the exact same thing is happening to me as a hockey player. Now, please don't get me wrong. I could never play hockey like Phil Collins plays drums. But I'd like to think that at one time, I could at least hold my own in a pretty high level skate.

But these last couple of years, I've discovered that I just can't do the things I did ten years ago. I used to have a pretty decent glove hand, but I tore a rotator cuff a few seasons ago, and it just doesn't have the same snap anymore. I can't kick out for the low shots as far as I did in the past, and both knees are so beat to shit, it takes an extra second to get back up after going down to block a shot.

So just like Phil and the boys in Genesis, I'm playing in a lower key these days. But you know what? I'm enjoying the game more now than at any other time in my life. And here's why:

1) If someone would have told me 20 years ago that I would still be playing hockey three or four times a week at age 53, I would have told them they were fuckin' nuts. After playing so much hockey, plus 25 years of soccer, I thought my chubby ass would have been done long ago. I'm playing on borrowed time here, and I know it.

2) I'm taking this shit a lot less seriously than I used to. When I was playing at a higher level, I wouldn't be able to sleep if I had a bad game. And I was so competitive, I was constantly barking at my teammates if they made mistakes, which I'm still not very proud of. But I've dialed down the intensity a lot over the past few years, though I still do die a little bit every time I let a goal in. And yes, I yell "fuck" every time I have to dig the puck out of my net.

Okay, so I'm still a little competitive.

3) Here's the most important reason I'm loving the game more than ever: I get to hang out two nights a week with my best friends. And I think most of us are to the point now where the beers in the locker room after the game are at least as important as what happens out on the ice. We tell jokes, tell stories about our kids, rehash the game, and bust each other's balls for over an hour. It's brilliant.

This past month, I've been hobbling on a bad knee, so I have had to sit out some games while waiting for the damn thing to heal well enough to try again. But you can bet your ass I've still been there every week, "coaching" from the bench, and hanging with the boys afterwards.

Recently, I read a story about Phil Collins, and how a degenerative back condition has forced him to retire from playing the drums. I wondered if he would miss touring with his mates from Genesis, and what he'd do to occupy his time.

I know that day is coming for me too. The injuries are mounting, it's taking too long to recover, and goalie is the type of position in hockey where it hurts the team too much if you can't be at least halfway competitive. Sometimes you can bury a position player on a line with good teammates, but there's nowhere to hide if you're a keeper.

But I'll worry about that day later. For now, I'll just keep singing a few keys lower, and playing with less intensity than the good old days. Like my man Phil, I'm touring one more time with my best friends, and loving the fuck out of it while I still can.

Old Dawgs Stretch League Lead With Win

The Old Dawgs moved six points clear of the rest of the SDOHL last Thursday night, courtesy of a solid 6-2 win against the Over- 40's. The long Christmas break didn't seem to affect the boys, as they rolled to their second straight win.

Young goalie Timmy Kmetz, filling in for Al Sterner, who didn't get new knees from fuckin' Santa Claus like he asked, played very well, turning aside 17 of 19 shots. Unfortunately, the two goals given up actually raised the Old Dawgs goals against average for the season, so Kmetz is officially out as a backup keeper.


Dumb-ass...

The Old Dawgs came out strong in the first period, outshooting their opponent by an 11-6 margin, but couldn't solve Over 40's goalie Alan Callison. The first goal of the game came just over a minute into the middle frame, when Richardson received a nice feed from defenseman Greg Clinard, and shot a beauty into the top corner.

That lead would be erased ten minutes later, when former Old Dawg and current French bastard Bern Levesque scored two goals in less than 30 seconds. But right after the second goal, Levesque felt uncomfortable being on the team that was ahead, and quickly surrendered.



Just three minutes later though, the Old Dawgs drew level, as John Thielen received a terrific cross ice pass from Eddie Cribbs, and drilled one past Callison. And then with just over a minute remaining in the second, Mario Lopez gathered the puck and found Callison's five-wicket to give his team the lead for good.

The margin doubled just 23 seconds into the last period, when Richardson deflected a nice pass from Cribbs into the lower corner. Then Richardson completed his hattie eight minutes later on another assist from Cribbs and Clinard. And finally Dave Chamberlin closed out the scoring a minute before the end, taking a pass from Mike Freeman, rushing the puck into the Over 40's zone, and sniping Callison for his first of the year.

Chamberlin doesn't get much of a chance to attack, as he spends most of his evening covering for "defenseman" Tito Pijanowski, who wanders about on the ice like an old man with Alzheimers.


No, not that old man with Alzheimers...

The Dawgs now have a good test tonight, when they face off again with Touchstone Imaging. Sterner is going to try again in goal, so it could be a high scoring affair. Game time is 7:15.

In other Old Dawgs news:

Over the Christmas break, Old Dawgs forward Mike Freeman took an inadvertent puck to the head while playing on the pond belonging to Graham Richardson. The scar is barely noticeable.


Didn't get a scratch as a football player

This week Old Dawgs defenseman Jimmy Tiernan paid for cosmetic surgery for his girlfriend Trina. It didn't go as well as they had hoped, and Tiernan's interests immediately turned to opera.


"Dammit, I just wanted her to have bigger knockers..."

This week Cindy Richardson forced herself to have sex with her husband Marty. Afterwards, she drank martinis until she could erase that memory from her mind.


"Jesus Christ, that was the worst 28 seconds of my fucking life..."

This week Old Dawgs 68 year old forward Mike Sullivan, searching his "bucket list", wanted to try something he had never done. There wasn't much left he hadn't tried, so in desperation, he attempted to get a blow job from a Springer Spaniel.


Yes, Sully, it was a mistake to friend me on Facebook.

A Little Love From Lockwood

So I checked my email yesterday, and there was a nice note from a guy named Justin Lockwood. In case you're not sure who he is, Justin is the play-by-play radio announcer for Newcastle United in the English Premier League. He also would be the guy that's going bat-shit in the YouTube clip that's right below this article. If you haven't checked it out yet, please be sure to do so before you leave.

His call on the goal that brought his Magpies side back from a 4-0 deficit in the second half to tie Arsenal is absolutely epic. For me, it's right up there with Al Michaels' "Do you believe in miracles?" call from the 1980 Winter Olympics. In that 47 seconds, Justin completely captures the passion of English football, and how much it means to those people. To borrow an English phrase, it's just fucking brilliant.



I've watched sports in the United States all my life, and there are no fans in any sport here that compare to English and European football fans. And if you happen to have a match that features teams from the same region, or what they call a "derby" (pronounced darby), you can ratchet up the fan intensity tenfold. The Yankees/Red Sox rivalry is a love fest compared to Manchester United/Manchester City, Tottenham/Arsenal, and Newcastle/Sunderland. And that's just England- you should see a Real Madrid/Barcelona match in Spain, or a Rangers/Celtic game in Scotland. It's insane- there is nothing here that's even close.

Anyway, I was completely shocked and flattered when Justin sent the email, just to say hello and thank me for putting the clip up on my blogsite. And I have absolutely no idea how he discovered that I posted it. I get lots of hits from other countries- it always baffles me why anyone would bother to read this shit. But I'm grateful for everyone that does, and hope that maybe I can make them chuckle every once in awhile.

So now I get to add the name of Justin Lockwood to the growing list of famous people that have read my blog and sent along a note. For your convenience, I've placed them in alphabetical order. The roster now includes:

Justin Lockwood

Okay, it's not growing that quickly. I guess all the other celebrities are shy.