Young forward Matt McGarvey, playing half the game without linemate and occasional fanny pal Shaun Hollis, netted a big three goal hat trick. Center Dam Pham continued his solid early season play, putting in his fourth and fifth.
McGarvey, left
The father and son team of Dennis and Michael Heaton each notched a goal, while French-Canadian wetback immigrant Bernie Levesque scored his third of the winter campaign. Star forward Shaun Hollis managed to tally one goal before being ejected due to some personal anger issues in the middle of the second period.
Goalie Al Sterner, after holding HTM to one goal for two periods, melted down in the third, giving up three softies when the effects of his pregame energy drink wore off.
Needs a larger can
The Dawgs came out hard right from the opening drop, pounding four goals past HTM goalie Brad Rowan in the first period. They increased their lead to 7-1 after two, highlighted by a strange goal from 50 year old Dennis Heaton.
While on a power play, Heaton was stationed to Rowan's left. When an errant shot was headed wide, the puck struck Heaton's colostomy bag, and deflected into the net for his first of the season.
The second period also featured the ejection of assistant captain Hollis, who in the early season had shown great restraint in the face of confrontation on the ice. After the game, it was revealed that Hollis was distraught over his recent breakup with pre-teen actress Dakota Fanning.
She was just the right age, too. What a bummer...
The Dawgs pretty much took the third period off, but still had a big enough lead to coast home with their fourth victory against no losses this season.
The boys now put their long unbeaten streak on the line Tuesday night, when they face MAAK Holdings. Game time is set for 10:20.
In other Dawgs news:
With his performance this week, McGarvey is now tied for the team lead in goals, with six. Hollis also has six, while Dan Pham just trails with five. Pham has yet to pick up an assist this season, leading many experts to believe that he is a selfish prick. This was confirmed by a recent magazine cover shoot for Pham.
Dawgs II forward Eddie Cribbs this week decided to stop playing games with the new women he dates, and just cut right to the chase.
Cribbs
Dawg Nation hero Travis "Bloody Fist" Hollis stayed undefeated for his young career in mixed martial arts last Saturday night, going to 3-0 with a unanimous decision over Matt Cox. In order to generate more publicity for his next fight, he will now be known as the Travis "Golden Bulge" Hollis.
That's actually a Bartlett pear, girls. Settle down...
This week Matt McGarvey and Shaun Hollis accepted roles in the sequel to their favorite date movie.
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