Dawgs Make Hole In Ozone- Stay Undefeated

The Dawgs I squad remained the only undefeated team in the EAHL Tuesday night, after a solid 9-6 victory against the high-scoring Ozone. With the maximum 10 points earned, the boys are now four points clear of the closest teams in the league, which are Ozone and Dr. Five Hole.

Center Dan Pham led the way once again for the Dawgs, scoring his sixth and seventh goals of the young season, and adding two assists. He now has 13 points for the season, which strangely is only good for fifth place in the offense-heavy EAHL.

Dawgs rookie and 2009 Bear Creek High School graduate Josh Adams also scored his third and fourth goals, while the ambiguously gay duo of Shaun Hollis and Matt McGarvey each tallied in the third period.


"Hey-smell my finger!"

Nathaniel Akel continued his consistent play, knocking in his fourth of the year, Tyson Dale scored his fourth, and even Dawgs captain and former pickle smoocher Marty Richardson got into the act, netting his second of the fall season.

Goalie Al Sterner would have had a reasonable game, but checked out mentally for the final three minutes, giving up a trio of goals to make the score much closer than the game actually was. But even with that three minute abortion, Sterner still leads the wide-open EAHL in lowest goals against, with a wafer thin 4.6 average.

Sterner draws inspiration from his lovely, petite and shy daughter Lauren, who is his biggest fan.


"You're number one, daddy!"

Now having played every team in the league, the Dawgs start over again Tuesday night, when they clash with the Ice Pack at 10:40. The last time the two teams met, it was opening night, and the Dawgs won a tight goalie duel, 11-8. Sterner tried to shoot himself after the game after surrendering eight goals, but the bullet went straight through his five hole.

In other Dawgs news:

This week Kelly Fraser, girlfriend of Dawgs II defenseman Nigel Richardson, showed how she remains satisfied while living with a man three times her age.

Caught herself a whopper there

In a show of unity, last week linemates Tyson Dale and Dan Pham each decided to wear one purple sock as part of their game uniform. After the game, Pham revealed what he did with the other sock.

In a close vote, Pham was named the Dawgs' Asian Player of the Week. He just edged out Tito Pijanowski, who is not Asian, but does enjoy having sex with Siamese twins. So that's close enough.

"Tito not sure where to put pee-pee..."