Old Dawgs Repeat As Champs

Win Yet Another Title With 6-1 Victory

After barely crawling into the SDOHL summer championship game, the Old Dawgs put on a show in the final, rolling over a shorthanded Wasabi team, 6-1. The Dawgs have now won both league titles heading into the winter season, which begins in October.

Two veteran Dawg Nation players led their team in the championship contest. Tito Pijanowski continued to dominate the SDOHL playoff season, scoring his seventh and eighth goals, and team captain Marty Richardson, who came straight to the contest from Denver International Airport, banged in his second and third.

John Thielen chipped in with an important goal and assist, new Dawgs player Mario Lopez notched a goal, and Dawg Nation's most improved player Dan Cashman added two assists.
Goalie Al Sterner, after a less than stunning beginning, bravely fell in front of 11 shots to pick up his fourth league championship in a Dawgs uniform.

After pretty much dominating the SDOHL winter league, the Old Dawgs had struggled through much of the summer, finishing with just a 4-5 record. The playoffs were a round-robin affair, where all four teams in the league would play each other, and then the top two would play in the championship game. Despite going 1-1-1 in the three games, it was good enough for the Dawgs to make the final.

Wasabi played without some key players, including their leading scorer Matt McCoy, while the Old Dawgs, after playing much of the summer shorthanded themselves, finally had almost their entire lineup intact. A very important part of the Dawgs' equation was Richardson, who just arrived back in Denver before the game after spending the week attending a convention in San Francisco of the Financial Advisors Guild, or F.A.G. In fact, Richardson didn't even have time to change out of his work clothes before driving straight to the Foothills Ice Arena.


Richardson

Another very important member rejoined the team when defenseman Greg Clinard courageously battled back from a broken hand to play in the all important contest. Clinard, known to his teammates as the "Nard Dog", fractured his left hand in a tragic masturbation accident while his wife was out of town.


Frozen in that position


Wasabi scored the first goal of the title match after less than five minutes had elapsed. The puck was sent into the Dawgs zone, where goalkeeper Sterner gathered it and spotted Pijanowski breaking up the right side of the ice. Summoning all of his keen offensive skills, Sterner fired a perfect pass...right onto the stick of Wasabi forward and complete douche Kevin Baird, who happily deposited the puck into the empty Dawgs net for a 1-0 lead.

Sterner

Pijanowski got his team back level before the end of the period, when he converted a breakaway past Wasabi goalie Steve Bergman. So the period ended at 1-1, the Old Dawgs outshot their opponent by a 9-5 margin, and Sterner promised his team that he would never try to play another puck. Things looked fairly optimistic going into period number two.

It only took the Dawgs 1:41 to jump ahead in the middle frame, when Pijanowski nailed his second of the game off a nice feed from Dan Cashman. Then three minutes later, the lead was doubled when Greg Clinard, standing at his own goal line with the puck, spotted Richardson coming off the bench at the opposite blue line.

Ignoring the throbbing in his left hand, and the coinciding throbbing in his pants because he enjoys pain, Clinard threaded a beautiful long pass down the middle, catching Richardson in stride. The diminutive captain skated in alone on Bergman, and rifled a laser into the top corner to make it 3-1.

Then four minutes later, while on a power play because Wasabi's Kevin Baird received a four minute penalty (two for roughing, two for being a jackoff), the Old Dawgs extended their lead to three. Forward John Thielen banged in a rebound from a Richardson shot, and the Old Dawgs were looking great heading to the third period.

Matters were pretty much settled just over two minutes into the final stanza, when center Mario Lopez skated in alone and fired a low shot past Bergman, who was so faked out that he never moved to make a save. 5-1, game over, and thanks for coming. Have a safe drive home.


Lopez

The Old Dawgs managed one more goal before the end of the game, and they saved their best for last. Working a five on three power play, the boys moved the puck deftly around the zone, before Cashman again found Richardson in front of the net. Richardson one-timed a honey again into the top corner, and that was the icing on the cake.

6-1, and repeat champions.

The statistics showed how dominating a performance it was by the Old Dawgs. They outshot Wasabi by a massive 29-12 difference, and the only real scoring chance the regular season champs had was when Sterner gifted their only goal. Along with Clinard and Pijanowski, defensemen Jimmy Tiernan and Nigel Richardson were both very solid in holding Wasabi to their lowest shot total of the season.

They might have been missing some players, but it still would have been very tough to beat the Old Dawgs- playing at their best in a title game.

In other Old Dawgs news:

Thursday night, Old Dawgs forward Mike "Sully" Sullivan officially became the oldest man ever to win a league championship at the age of 68. He had no idea he won until his wife told him on Saturday. He thought he was at the Copa Cabana catching the midnight show with Tony Bennett.


Sully, confused and in the middle

After the championship game, Wasabi filed a formal protest to have the result overturned. They didn't believe the Old Dawgs were using illegal players, they were angry because the Dawgs played without Eddie Cribbs, who sucks just enough to possibly tilt the game the other direction.


Cribbs, left, out with strained pussy

Old Dawgs forward Dan Cashman insisted on wearing his helmet and mouthguard for the team photo. It was later discovered that doctors have ordered Cashman to do that whenever he puts on skates, whether he is on the ice or not, for fear that he might hurt himself.


No, that's not weird or anything

As stated earlier, defenseman Greg Clinard spent an extended amount of time away from his wife. That may explain why he had a shit eating grin on his face the entire game.




Jesus, how fuckin' happy can a guy be?

Team captain Marty Richardson helped his team celebrate victory this week by making his favorite appetizers for after the game.