Last Thursday night, it was the Old Dawgs turn, as they won by exactly the same score in a nail biting, nine round extra session. The two points keeps them three clear of Touchstone Imaging at the top of the SDOHL table.
Rand Peterson scored his third goal of the season five minutes into the final period to key the Old Dawgs comeback, and set the stage for the exciting overtime win. Goalie Doug Witschger, subbing for the rapidly falling apart Al Sterner, was terrific, stopping 25 of 26 shots in regulation, and all nine in the shootout.
The teams played a scoreless first period, but it wasn't for lack of shots. Team Yellow had 11 and the Dawgs had 10, but neither squad could find the back of the net. Team Yellow got the only goal of the second period, with Jay Johnson scoring from the point after the Dawgs failed in roughly a dozen attempts to get the puck out of the zone.
But five minutes into the final frame, Rand Peterson gathered in a pass from Old Dawgs captain and former rim job expert Marty Richardson, made a nice move on Yellow goalie Dave Maney, and tucked the puck into the net to draw his team level.
The game stayed even at one for the final ten minutes, even though the Dawgs had the best of the play, outshooting the opponent by an 11-5 margin. So just like October, the game would be decided by penalty shots. The one big difference was that this guy wouldn't be in goal for the Old Dawgs:
Yes, Al Sterner, who played the October shootout like quadriplegics fuck (which is not very well and sadly flopping around), would be cooling his heels on the Old Dawgs bench, nursing a very sore uterus. And thank God for that, as Witschger made save after save as the shootout rolled on.
The Old Dawgs experienced a very special moment in the seventh round of the session, when Eric Wilks took his turn. With a chance to be a hero and win the game, he skated right over the top of the puck as he crossed the blue line, and left the elusive black disk right there without ever getting a shot.
After Witschger made his ninth and final save, and wondered silently whether he was going to have to score a goal himself to end the fucking thing, up stepped defenseman Greg Clinard. Clinard, who works full time developing Ponzi schemes and jacking old ladies out of their life savings, skated in, actually bringing the puck with him (unlike Wilks), and did something none of the previous eight Old Dawgs skaters did. He made a goddamn move, instead of shooting directly into Maney's pads. When Maney opened his legs, the Nard Dawg calmly did something he can't do at home with his wife: he slipped it through the old five hole, and the game was finally over.
Nard Dawg, sporting trademark shit eating grin. Isn't he precious?
The Old Dawgs now have another tough test this week when they face off against the Coyotes, featuring solid goalie Ted Cetaruk. And it appears that Al Sterner will be back in net, so one goal will certainly not be enough to win this week. Game time is set for 9:55.
In other Dawgs news:
A religious man, Old Dawgs forward Eddie Cribbs spent time this week getting ready for Christmas in his own special way.
Eddie, ready to release his "Christmas mass"
This week Old Dawgs forward and war veteran Mike Sullivan participated in a reunion to commemorate the anniversity of the attack on Pearl Harbor. The other soldiers were angry when they discovered that Sully was actually a pilot in the Japanese Air Force.
"Bonzai!!"
This week Old Dawgs goalie Al Sterner won the Vagina Trophy in the Foothills Over 40 Select League. The award, named for ex-beer league goalie legend Georges Vagina, is given to the keeper who lets in the fewest goals during the regular season. Because the league only plays a 10 week schedule, commissioner John Ling decided to present a smaller trophy, or "Mini Vagina".
The trophy has several uses
This week Old Dawgs captain Marty Richardson finally decided to see what all the fuss was about.
"It's true! I'll never go back!"
3 comments:
Al's father became a kamikasi pilot as soon as he saw the baby he produced.
Now that's funny. See you next week Sully...
You son of a bitch! I screw up and I get featured as a douche, but the next week I get a hat-trick and nothing! I'll get you Al Sterner...if it's the last thing I do.
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