Old Dawgs Squeak Out 2-1 Win

The Old Dawgs continued their strong start to the winter SDOHL season last Thursday night, just getting by a very good Touchstone Imaging team, 2-1. The hard fought victory leaves the Dawgs as one of two teams in the league that have 2-0 records.

Mario Lopez scored what would be the game winner early in the final period with his third goal of the season, while Old Dawgs captain and former turd tapper Marty Richardson notched his second with a nice breakaway goal. John Thielen and Eddie Cribbs each picked up assists in the tight, defensive game.

Goalie Al Sterner played better than his normal capabilities, stopping 23 of 24 shots, and winning against good friend and fellow Dawgs goalie Timmy Kmetz, who was playing as a substitute for Touchstone. In fact, Kmetz was on the ice for his sixth game in five days, still playing his way back into shape after recovering from his 47th hernia this past summer. Knowing that he was playing Kmetz, Sterner stuffed an extra horseshoe up his ass before the game, and it made all the difference.


They were silver when they went in.

The Old Dawgs got off to a great start just over three minutes into the first period, when Richardson put his team on top. The words "great pass", and "Eddie Cribbs" don't often collide in the same sentence, but the Dawgs defenseman, who is bravely battling back from a ruptured clitoris, lobbed a puck high in the air from his own zone, and right onto the stick of Richardson,who was waiting alone past center ice.

Richardson skated in from the left side, cut in front of the net, and sniped a beauty in the top corner over Kmetz glove. What made the goal even more amazing was that he had forgotten his normal sticks, and was borrowing one with quite a lot more flex. But the goal was terrific, and the Dawgs were off and running.


Borrowed stick

Unlike normal SDOHL play, the game stayed at 1-0 for two full periods. Touchstone outshot the Old Dawgs 16-8 through the two frames, but Sterner's horseshoes were working their magic. But it really looked the Touchstone was most likely to get the next goal heading to the third period.

But no, the Old Dawgs struck for the second time early in the final stanza, when Lopez deflected a shot from John Thielen, and through Kmetz pads to double the lead. Lopez' three goals now are tied for the top of the SDOHL, along with Touchstone's Mark Caldwell.


Lopez

Sterner lost his bid for a shutout with just over three minutes left in the game, when Bob Desmond banged one in after a goal mouth scramble. It would have been Sterner's first shutout since...well, ever. He managed to keep a good attitude about it after the game.


He's just showing how many goals they scored

The Old Dawgs now play the other undefeated SDOHL squad, Team Yellow, tonight at 7:15. The game has been designated as Tito Pijanowski Bobblehead Night, with the first 2000 fans receiving the souvenier.



In other Old Dawgs news:

Defenseman Greg Clinard missed last week's game, claiming that he had an ankle sprain. Further investigation showed that he actually shaved his scraggly beard and got a face lift, in an attempt to recapture his youth.


Uh, Nard Dawg? What the fuck?

A close look at the University of Colorado's football statistics during their 1990 championship season shows exactly how vital Old Dawgs forward Mike Freeman was to their success.



Just 1713 yards fewer than Bieniemy, But he kicked the shit out of Yago and Smith.

Because of all his success, this week Old Dawgs captain Marty Richardson signed an endorsement deal with Pennzoil.


"Pennzoil! It's not just for cars anymore!"