Dawgs Advance After 6-4 Win

The Dawgs I squad moved to the second round of the C-2 playoffs Tuesday night after getting past the Cobra Kai, 6-4. They now face the Llamas for an automatic berth in the league semifinals.

Winger and Bronze Labia winner Jeff Wiemelt returned from a two week absence to score a three goal hat trick. Teen idol Matt McGarvey pitched in with two, while Brad Stabio celebrated his return from a drug run in Belize to put in his fourth of the season.

The Dawgs jumped out quickly Tuesday, grabbing a 4-0 lead in the first period. They then dried up like a 60 year old hooker and almost lost their lead twice before scoring late to seal the victory.

Goalie Al Sterner, trying in vain to stay one step ahead of senility, was fair to partly shitty in the playoff opener. With his team nursing a 5-3 lead in the third period, he allowed a bad angle goal that defied belief, but held on the rest of the way, despite playing the last five minutes with both hands wrapped around his throat.


Sterner


Wiemelt scored his first goals since January 15th, and now has 11 for the season. He also continued his streak, now up to 21 games, of not drawing a penalty. In fact, during that entire period he has not made physical contact with another player.



Wiemelt (take a minute-you'll get this one)

Dawgs leading scorer Shaun Hollis was shut out for the second straight week, leading to speculation of some possible problems in his personal life. He has not been the same player since he started dating a new girlfriend after the first of the year.



Hollis' new love


In other Dawgs news:

A search of defenseman Rick Zimmat's hockey bag this week revealed why he remains so low-key during games.


Not a lamp


Team captain Martin Richardson missed the playoff opener because of an undisclosed illness, contracted during a recent visit to San Francisco. Until his condition improves, in a show of unity the rest of the Dawgs team will wear something special on their game uniforms.



Tribute to "Cappy the Turd Tappy"


While in Belize last week, center Brad Stabio happened to meet actor Harrison Ford, who was staying in the same vacation resort. Upon returning to the United States, Ford confirmed to reporters that Stabio has a small penis.


"I know he was diving, but Jesus Christ..."


Winger Eddie Cribbs had minor eye surgery this week and will be forced to miss the next game.


Cribbs