Old Dawgs Still On Top After 6-0 Win

Five weeks ago, the Old Dawgs were forced to play Team Yellow with just seven skaters, and while they battled gamely, they wore down in the third period, eventually losing by a 3-2 score.

And last Thursday, it looked like history might possibly repeat itself. When the puck dropped, there were only nine, which could have spelled disaster once again, considering that the combined age of that group is 647.

But things went much better this time. Nine eventually became 10, and the late game fade never happened, as the Old Dawgs rolled to a convincing 6-0 victory.

Bernie Levesque, who has been battling a tough combination of a nagging groin injury and being French, came through huge for his squad with a three goal chapeau trick. Brother-in-law Chris Courtiol added two goals and an assist, and played a terrific defensive game, while forward Dave Chamberlain ripped in his third of the year, and played his best overall game of the season.

Goalie Al Sterner faced only 14 shots, with just a few being dangerous, to pick up his first shutout of this, or any other millenium.

The Old Dawgs got off to their customary great start, when Levesque sprung himself on a breakaway and beat Yellow goalie Vince Sciandra just under six minutes into the first period. The Dawgs have now scored the first goal in every game this season- hanging on to that lead has been the problem.

But Courtiol helped matters greatly before the end of the period, knocking in his second and third of the season. The second goal came off of a nice feed from John Theilen, who took the evening off from working with comedian Jeff Dunham.


Theilen, left

So the Dawgs were cruising at 3-0 going into the second period, and things got even better 21 seconds in when Levesque cashed in his second of the night, with Courtiol picking up the helper. And then when Chamberlain found the net with a laser shot from the point before the end of the frame, the good guys had a lead that even they couldn't give away.

Things can get ugly when a team leads by five goals, even in the old fart league. And ugly it became with nine minutes left, when Team Yellow's Greg Klaas was called for holding the stick of Old Dawgs sort of defenseman Tito Pijanowski. The problem was that even after the whistle, Klaas wouldn' release Pijanowski's stick, resulting in Pijanowski dragging Klaas around the ice, and giving him an amateur apendectomy, twisting the stick until he finally let loose.

The referee decided to penalize both players, resulting in a very unhappy Polish Prince. Pijanowski slammed the penalty box door, and then slammed in again. And then slammed it again. It was then that Mr. Referee invited Pijanowski to hit the bricks, giving him a game misconduct penalty that will keep him out of this week's important contest against the Coyotes.

But Tito wasn't quite done. He did leave the ice, but not before skating to the Team Yellow bench and threatening the life of poor forward Michelle Bean, who promptly soiled her Depends.


He really frightened her...

Then with six minutes left, defenseman Courtiol was taken hard into the boards by Team Yellow forward Mario Lopez. This was the second consecutive game against the Old Dawgs that Lopez had delivered an unnecessary check, putting him into the early lead for the Bobby Norris Memorial Trophy for being the league's biggest dickhole.


Lopez

Courtiol, to his tremendous credit, skated away without retaliating. That restraint, along with scoring two goals, and even dropping down on defense to block several shots in front of Sterner, showed what an asset he has become this season as a new Dawg.

On the ensuing power play, Levesque completed his hat trick, and now has 10 goals on the campaign, tying him for the goal scoring lead with Tito Pijanowski. Those 10 goals, combined with all his assists, now give him a total of, well, 10 points. In fact, at press time his goalie has more assists than Levesque, which is the source of great joy for Al Sterner.

The Old Dawgs now play an important game Thursday night, when they face off against the Coyotes. The two teams are tied at the top of the SDOHL table with 16 points. Game time is 9:55.

In other Old Dawgs news:

Because the Old Dawgs played so well without them last week, Tuesday afternoon the team traded captain Marty Richardson, Eddie Cribbs and a six pack of Old Milwaukee to Touchstone Imaging. In return the Old Dawgs got multi-talented forward Kathleen Ziff.


Hope Touchstone doesn't change their mind...

Forward Eric Wilks also missed the game last week, going on vacation to a special place where he could wear a flowered bathing cap, swim and smoke at the same time without being judged. That special place....France.


That's really him...no shit

This week, because he has become a danger to himself, doctors have ordered Old Dawgs defenseman Chris Courtiol to wear a hockey helmet full time.


You look great, Rain Man...

As stated earlier, Dawgs captain and former dong recepticle Marty Richardson missed last week's game, opting instead to take his wife Cindy on a special anniversary trip to San Diego. But as usual, they ended up spending the entire weekend in Tijuana at the donkey shows. Saturday night, they enjoyed an exciting three way with their new friend Pablo.


One of them really enjoyed the size of Pablo's "member". So did Cindy.