Ramblings of a Short Fat Goalie: Dawgs Melt Ice Pack- Stay Unbeaten

The Dawgs I squad kept rolling through the first half of the winter EAHL season last Tuesday night, with a solid 7-3 victory over the Ice Pack. They are now a perfect 6-0 on the new campaign, and maintain a four point lead on the Ozone, whom they defeated 9-6 last week.

The Dawgs continue to feature a balanced scoring attack, with six different players lighting the lamp. They were again led by the "Beast From the Far East" Dan Pham, who dropped back on defense due to the unexplained absence of Tito Pijanowski. He tallied two key goals in the second period, and helped keep the high scoring Ice Pack team in check with solid play at the blue line.

The other Dawgs scorers included Tyson Dale, who managed a pretty goal before getting into a rumble with the Ice Pack's Jason Gregory and being ejected in the first period, Shaun Hollis on a shorthanded breakaway, and Michael Heaton, who banged in his first of the season.

Rounding out the Dawgs' scoring were Nathaniel Akell, who just keeps plugging along, knocking in his fifth, and teen wonder Josh Adams, who also notched his fifth of the fall. Adams also made the defensive play of the game, clearing the puck off of the goal line after it had eluded goalie Al Sterner. Adams was later admonished by his fellow center Matt McGarvey for playing too much defense, and vowed never to let that happen again.

McGarvey, playing his standard defense

The Dawgs jumped out early, scoring the game's first three goals, and never really looked back. The Ice Pack scored in the first to close to within two, but Pham's two markers in the second put things pretty much out of reach.

Even though they scored eight goals the last time the two teams met, the Ice Pack didn't have the same firepower, and Sterner actually played with his head outside his ass this time, holding them to a season low.

Usually gives up at least this many

But there were some interesting occurences during the game. In the first period, while coming off the ice on a line change, defenseman Brad Stabio played the puck after his replacement had already come on, resulting in a two minute penalty.

Later in the period Tyson Dale was given a game misconduct for fighting with Jason Gregory, even though neither player dropped their gloves. This resulted in a one game suspension for Dale. A distraught Dan Pham vowed this week not only to wear Dale's mildly gay purple sock as a sign of unity, but also to wear Dale's protective jockstrap.

Pham's bulge will never be this big

In the second period, young Josh Adams received a ten minute misconduct after delivering a hard check along the boards. Linemate Dennis Heaton told Adams' mom, and Adams was given a "time out" after he got home.

Adams

Later in the second, forward Danny Packard was nudged from behind by an Ice Pack player, and rolled around on the ice like a Portuguese soccer player. As he protested no penalty being called, a high pitched squeal came from someplace other than his mouth. It was later determined that Packard had executed the perfect queef.

The Dawgs attempt to keep their unbeaten streak alive tonight when they play against their old pals and charter members of Dawg Nation, Cobra Kai. Cobra Kai won their first game of the season last week over Dr Five Hole, 8-6, and are always dangerous, featuring Canadian import Jonathan Jay. Not an intelligent man, Jay still hasn't quite learned how to breath from his nose.

Leave him alone- he's from "America Jr."

In other Dawgs news:

This week Dawgs captain and former fanny miner Marty Richardson went on a business trip to Amsterdam, Holland. He wasted no time in blending in with his new surroundings.